Here Am I. Send Me!

I received a phone call last week by a friend inviting me to go yesterday to a women's one-day retreat. I will be honest and say I didn't want to go. I told her on the phone I would think about it. When I finishing talking with her, I tried to think of an excuse I could use to politely refuse.  For the life of me I couldn't think of one, so I phoned her back and reluctantly told her I would go.

All week I tired to put the thought of the women's retreat out of my mind. I hoped that maybe something would come up that would prevent me from going, like a snow storm or something. (I can't believe I actually wished for that, but I did.) However, when no such thing happened, I reasoned that it must be God's will for me to go, although I couldn't figure out why.

The retreat started at nine in the morning, and by ten, I was ready to go home. I couldn't shake the intense guilt I felt for being there. If the retreat was an outreach, then it wouldn't have bothered me at all. But it wasn't. There was a $30 charge, so it attracted only Christian ladies who could afford it.

The first portion of the retreat centred around how we should revel in God's love and goodness. But how can we do that when there are so many people outside the church that God loves too but don't know it? Churches seem so inward that it grieves me so.

I have a heart for evangelism. It's a burning desire inside me that I'm not able to shake.

I don't understand why long-time Christians can't move on from the basics of the Gospel of Christ and the four protective walls of the church, and go beyond to reach the lost with the Gospel of Christ. It's God's heart that no one should perish!

"He is patient with you, 

not wanting anyone to perish, 

but everyone to come to repentance."

2 Peter 3:9b (NIV)

After lunch I felt pretty much the same. I passionately told a lady who was sitting beside me, "God loves us; that's true." I then pointed outside the church. "But God loves them too!" The lady just looked at me with bewilderment. I was so disheartened. Sometimes it feels so hopeless.

Then the guest speaker got up. I didn't have high expectations. I really couldn't wait until the retreat was over so I could go home and cry out to God.

Well, God obviously heard my many past prayers and my heartfelt desires because the speaker spoke on evangelism in our community and how this should be our driving force as God's people.

I was so excited! Yes!!!!!!! I could hardly contain myself! I rooted the speaker on the whole way. There was one other lady that did the same.

The female speaker spoke on everything I have been blogging about concerning the lost.

After she finished speaking, I gave her my name and phone number to contact me for help in prison ministry and/or start a First Nations peoples ministry. The other excited lady gave the speaker her phone number as well.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 

'Whom shall I send? 

And who will go for us?' 

and I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

Isaiah 6:8 (NIV)