Jesus Came To Seek And Save The Lost

What causes a person to become an abuser?

I believe there are many answers to this question. Here are a few of them:

• Mental illness: Many times an abuser will have some kind of mental illness. He/she typically does not seek professional treatment, and if he/she does, he/she ignores the treatments prescribed by the doctor.
• Drugs or/and alcohol addiction: Taking drugs and consuming alcohol both alter the mind and cause people to do things they wouldn't normally do. Withdrawing from drugs and alcohol often cause the same level of uncontrollableness.
• Stress: Continued high levels of stress in a person's life build up and is released through outbursts of uncontrolled anger toward another individual.
• Unresolved negative feelings: A few examples are anger, jealousy, resentment, and unforgiveness. A person who has kept his/her feelings inside for so long, either because he/she has never had someone with spiritual maturity to talk to, or because he/she chose not to seek godly counsel, can consquently become abusive towards others.
• Extreme insecurities: Broken dreams, deep-rooted hurts, failures, excessively high expectations for oneself, self-loathing, and severe loneliness can all seriously affect one's self-imagine. A person can't love someone unless he/she loves and accept him/herself first.
• Previously or presently abused by someone else: Often someone who is or who has been abused will come to accept that such behaviour is normal, and will therefore abuse others. On the other hand, I have found that the most effective counsellors — people who have been used mightily of God — are those who have previously suffered abuse or tragedy in their life, leading them to a treasured and close relationship with God, and giving them a deep compassion for others in need.
• Unrepented sin: A person who bears the guilt of unrepented sin will usually act in a hostile manner toward others.
• Desire for control: People will sometimes prey on the vulnerable to fulfill their evil desire for control and their sense of power.
• Selfishness: For an abuser, it is all about him/her and not others. He/she tries to force other people to become what he/she wants them to be, instead of accepting and loving them as who God created them to be — a special and unique individual. An abuser sees others only as a means of fulfilling his/her selfish needs and desires.
• Aspergers syndrome: Aspergers is an autism spectrum disorder. A person with Aspergers has a difficult time processing his/her own feelings, let alone understanding the feelings of others. This can cause the person to abuse others, either unintentionally, or willingly due to the frustration of dealing with this syndrome, especially if the person has not been diagnosed.

We must keep in mind though that God not only loves the abused, but He loves the abuser as well.

An abuser may reject help, or deny or not even understand that they have a problem. However, we should never automatically write off an abuser, or underestimate the power of prayer. Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost, and an abuser is someone who is very lost.

"For the Son of Man came to seek

 and save those who are lost."

Luke 19:10 (NLT)