How To Reconcile With Someone You Hurt

Peace or reconciliation on earth is commonly represented by a dove with an olive leaf in its beak. Here is a picture of my parakeet with a feather in its beak. It will have to do.

The Bible tells us that if, before you offer your gift at the altar, you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, then leave your gift in front of the altar, go to the person you have hurt, and reconcile with them first. Then you may return and offer your gift to God.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar

and there remember that your brother or sister
 has something against you,

leave your gift there in front of the altar.

First go and be reconciled to them;

then come and offer your gift."

Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV)

But how does a person reconcile with someone he/she has hurt deeply? It is easy to say that a person must reconcile with someone he/she has hurt, but how does one achieve a successful reconciliation?

Here is a list of steps to take:

1. Sincerely apologize for the wrong you have done. Don't use email, telephone, or Facebook. Instead, apologize face-to-face. I know it takes courage to look into the eyes of the person you have hurt and experience the painful feeling of your shame, but this shows genuineness, and also love and respect for the person you've hurt.
2. Don't wait to apologize. Go as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the more time bitterness and resentment has to build in the heart of the person you've hurt.
3. Look the person in the eye at all times while you are apologizing, and lovingly touch them by either taking hold of one of their hands in both of yours or placing your hand gently upon their shoulders.
4. If the person begins to open up to you about his/her feelings, don't say anything more, just listen to what the person is saying and try to understand his/her feelings. After he/she is finished speaking, reaffirm again to him/her how sorry you are.
5. Tell the person your true feelings for him/her and explain how much you love and care for him/her.
6. Arrange for something fun the two of you can do together in the near future.