Two Misconceptions Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a one-moment decision and then it's done with. Forgiveness is a continued state or attitude. However, when someone is hurt, we, out of respect, need to give that person time to heal, work through and personally express negative feelings. On the other hand, if we are hurt, we must never use this as an excuse to be rude or disrespectful to other people — including the transgressor — as we recover. Being hurt does not justify hurting others.

Forgiveness does not automatically include reconciliation, especially when the transgressor refuses to acknowledge any wrong committed, or when he/she claims it was all just a misinterpretation of what happened. We can forgive and yet decide not to resume a relationship with the person or people who've hurt us.

As Jesus hung on the Cross in pain and torment, He said to all the Pharisees and Sadducees whom He so blatantly confronted on their hypocrisies:

"Father, forgive them,

 for they do not know what they are doing."

Luke 23:24 (NIV)

Jesus did not change his stance on sin and there was no reconciliation between Him and the Pharisees and Sadducees, but there was forgiveness.