Our Sighs Are Not Hidden From God

"All my longings lie open before You, Lord;

my sighing is not hidden from You."

Psalm 38:9 (NIV)

We all have longings, but not one of our sighs is ever hidden from God. I long for past friends that I left behind in BC. I long for family that I never see. I long for the familiarity of the landscape I grew up with. I long for what was and is no longer. Loneliness is what I battle most in life. I fight it constantly and I hate the feeling. As soon as I saw this gorilla at the Calgary Zoo, I knew instantly what she felt.

This week, my next door neighbour and dear friend in Kamloops lost her home and all her belongings as she stood by and watched them burn. When I saw her on television being interviewed, my heart broke. She asked a firefighter if all her books were gone, but the firefighter only shook her head slowly as she looked into the eyes of a lost soul. I knew which book my friend longed for: her precious Bible that I saw so often opened on her living room end table and spilling out with her mementos. As my neighbour's eyes dropped to the ground, her body heaved a sigh of grief. Then with a slight glimmer of unrealistic hope, she raised her head and asked about her old upright piano that she loved to play her beloved hymns on. Sadly again the firefighter shook her head in helpless silence and another sigh came from a woman who lost so much.

My neightbour knows God and God saw and sees every one of her sighs. I long to see my old friend, talk to her and comfort her, but I can't. I don't know where she is. I have tried to find out through other people she and I both knew, but so far I have been unsuccessful. I feel helpless. I can't help but wonder if my neighbour and friend feels like the gorilla above. Does she feel all alone? Does she long for what was and is no longer? All I know is that all her longings lie open before God, her Lord and Saviour, and not one of her sighs is hidden from Him.